Seriously?! This mouse is fucking kidding right? Day 7. It's been a whole goddamn week and this mouse is still fucking with me? What did I do to deserve being sent the mouse from hell? It has been a week since Captain Exterminator set the traps, let me remind you we have 7 traps (4 sticky, 3 mouse manglers), I can't even walk in my room anymore without worrying about losing a toe to one of these things. So that's 7 traps and what do we have to show for it? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Want to know the best part? Two, not one, two of the Mouse Mangler traps have been set off and haven't caught the damn thing. I swear to god, this motherfucker is some kind of demon mouse. He has been sent directly by the devil himself. He cannot be caught.
So, I'm lying in bed last night watching Green Street Hooligans (Frodo with a great performance in that movie by the way) and I hear the trap behind my desk go off and I'm pretty sure I came a little bit at the excitement of killing this demon. I turn the lights on, just waiting for what's sure to be the most glorious moment of my college life, capturing this fucker. I flip over the sprung trap with a pencil and low and behold, no mouse. Once again, no fucking mouse. Let me make myself clear, the trap went off and there was NO mouse inside. Are we following what's happening here? Traps don't just go off by themselves, this one went off, there should be a fucking dead bloody mouse inside. I don't get it? I just don't get it. How does this son of bitch keep getting away?
Anyways, our friends the exterminators were back again today and even though they're professionals I think they're even beginning to realize that they're dealing with something unlike what they've ever dealt with before. When told that the mouse got away not once, but twice, Captain Exterminator replied in a whisper, "Bastards..." Clearly upset that he had been duped by the furry rodent he reset the traps and was on his way. Before leaving, however, he told me, "We'll be back soon, we're on a rotation for this problem. Thanks so much for your help." It's as if we're go after terrorists or something. Thanks for your help?! We're on a rotation for this problem?! Are you fucking kidding? This is even more serious than I thought. We're not just looking for a mouse, we're looking for Saddam Mousein...
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